The Memory

By – Nivedita Udupa, NUJS.

 

In the cold winter air, the dewdrops rested on the blades of grass,

As my eyes closed, as I dwelled on a distant memory of the past,

That sunny day, with the wind blowing in my face, oh that day,

The fragments of dust, unwanted companions carried by the breeze,

She made no distinction; she carried petals and shattered glass,

I looked behind, their laughter, unaware of the reality if it would last,

He smiled as he put his arms around her, he always had his way,

She beamed and rested her glowing cheek against him as if to tease;

I looked ahead, held back the tears that seemed to overpower,

A deep pain heavily burdened my chest, I felt filthy,

My fingers began to shiver as I wondered what animal I could be,

To love a man who was never mine to begin, why didn’t I see,

My gaze averted as I saw Dan raced ahead, he held up a flower,

I looked at him surprised; the fragrance was overwhelmingly earthy,

I forced a smile as I held the thorns, blamed the dust, I wanted to flee,

But more than anything, as my eyes lingered back on them, I wished to be free.

 

The clouds hid as the brazen sun shattered the darkness,

Everyone were in smiles, then why was she afar from the gaiety,

She looked at them again, as I pondered over the secret which I knew,

She could confide in me, but why is she so ashamed of the truth?

The angelic purple flower, was acutely aware of its shyness,

In the yellow meadow, it alone stood out in all its naivety,

I held it tenderly, to reach her heart, I must stand in the queue,

As I wondered if this feeling of love was a boon or bane of youth,

She didn’t notice my shadow reaching out to hers,

I saw the hidden tears as she refused to meet my eye for fear,

She blamed the dust, her unsuspecting accomplice in the deception,

She held the flower but did not notice the beauty of its richness,

I blamed my heart for feeling that emotion that occurs,

The forced smile that she wore, made me cry a silent tear,

If she only noticed my love, if she had a different perception,

I turned around, only weaving a small prayer for her happiness.

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