I want to be the feeling that spears through your heart when you open the window to a windy afternoon. I want to make you feel fresh and I want you to be happy. I don’t want to make you happy; I want you to be happy- eternally. I want that happiness should be simple for you, effortless, as it is. I want it to make you forget everything, erase memory, erase time, erase any parameter by which you can judge it, compare it with something. I want you to be happiest all the time so that in the end, your happiness feels perennial.
When I die, or when I am on the verge of death- when I refuse to eat, refuse to breath or function normally, unable to move and pitiful; do me a favour, record your laughter and play it on loop. Make a movie of your laughter and play it all day all night. I don’t know if I’d recover from it, I can’t say, but then you’d see for yourself, I won’t be pitiful. I won’t be vulnerable. You are extraordinary and that you are mine is extraordinary. You are my grandiosity. You are grandiosity. You entered the room with no judgement; you entered my life with a vision, an incessant want.
My love for you is not unconditional, if it will be, I think it will be its greatest flaw. Don’t you think love is inherently conditional, isn’t that why I’m able to explain why I am so much in love with you- because it has reasons? But wait, isn’t love a condition, a state of being that I can enter and exit? I’m not sure what the answers to these questions are, but I like that you are puzzled too.